The Power Of Multi-Generational Friendships, and the best £17.00 I've Ever Spent...

In the last few years I have expanded my female friendships in a way that I never planned. Be open to extending the age range of your friends, and I promise you you'll be so glad you did. I know I am.

I had the funniest night last week. As with all the best nights out, this one was not the one I was expecting (it was a Tuesday ffs). You may or may not know, but I am on a local open garden committee (I was 100% lured in by the fact that they said they were looking for (and I quote) '‘some younger people'‘ to join. At 51, the very idea of being described as '‘young'‘ in any context was all I needed (flattery really will get you everywhere it seems). I was in. And on top of that, I would get the inside track on all the local gossip (these ladies know everything). It was a no-brainer. That was back in January. We used to meet one Saturday morning a month (then more frequently in the run-up to the event), and I loved it so much - just chatting and listening to these women (in one of their beautiful homes I might add). I’ve already talked a bit about friendships of women of all ages in a previous post, but it’s really been this year that this notion of multi-generational friendships has really resonated with me in such a meaningful way. As I said, I was (mostly) there for the flattery and the gossip (I even admitted it to them), not necessarily friendship (not in a bad way - it just wasn't an expectation I suppose). Anyway, I knew most of the women already (I have lived here since 2012 and it’s a small place), as there is a monthly ladies ‘get-together’ in the local pub, which I try to go to whenever I can. Sometimes (often actually) I’m simply not in the mood, but always force myself to go if I can; to make the effort. And every single time, I leave having had the best evening! And I know it sounds so cheesy, but honestly, I would feel so uplifted (although maybe that was possibly the house red?). The best conversations (some light, some deep), biggest belly laughs - all with a group of women that I would otherwise never have had much interaction with, beyond “hi, how are you?” as we passed each other in the street, or a local shop. At Christmas, they have annual aversion where husbands/partners are also allowed. Lol. That’s a very different vibe. But also lots of fun!

So there is a big cross-over with the monthly pub drinks and the open garden committee meetings - most of the women attend both, but not all. But one involves alcohol and one doesn’t. Different vibes. Anyway, I have got to know these women (ranging in age from 40 to 85, with the majority being retired and in their sixties) pretty well over the course of this year. They’re all different, but I have grown so fond of them all. I get such interesting insights into different (future for me) chapters of womens’ lives - being a grandparent, losing parents, husbands with long-term illnesses, children in their twenties, image, mens’ perception of ‘women of a certain age’ (not mine this time). I guess you could say it’s a bit of a glimpse into my future in many ways.

The actual Open Gardens (organised completely by our little committee, which raises a serious amount of cash for local charities, which is hugely rewarding) was in May, so soon afterwards, the meetings (naturally) stopped. Then won’t resume again until 2027 (the Open Gardens is biennial). So I sent a spontaneous message to the WhatsApp group (one of the few I actually enjoy!) to say that I was missing our meetings and wondered if anyone fancied a little get-together? It was a resounding yes and a local restaurant was suggested (I was thinking just drinks at the pub, but always happy to go with the flow…) and promptly booked a table for 10 people at 7.30pm in a few week’s time.
Fast-forward to last Tuesday, and one of the funniest evenings I’ve had in a long time. These women know how to have a good time!! I arrived precisely three minutes after the booking time and they were already there, seated (I panicked, assuming I must have got the time wrong? They laughed and explained that they were just excited), and ordering wine. Lots of wine. And it flowed all night long. As did the great conversations, the laughter, and the delicious tapas. I didn’t know it then, but this was going to be the wildest Tuesday I’d had in quite some time